By Robyn D. Weisman, Esq., Founder Divorce Mediation & Family Services of New York
Dated: May 1, 2015
With Spring cleaning at hand and summer on it’s way, some of us may also be contemplating a new beginning. It could be a new job, seeing our children through graduation and starting on their new adventures, selling a home and relocating or maybe just contemplating a change in marital status or relationship. I am going to focus on marital change as this is the area I am most familiar with.
At its best, marriage should be a partnership and one that nourishes the individuality of each spouse to blossom into the best possible person each can be. The best part of ourselves should be springing out and shining above all as a result of the relationship a marriage creates.
Sometimes, however, unfortunately this may turn into the opposite situation and marriage may present challenges that may be insurmountable. I always recommend marital therapy to try to work through the issues which present a couple. However, trying to meet the expectations of a spouse that don’t match who we are can prevent us from becoming who we want to be. Divorce may be inevitable or already the status of a marriage.
As with nature, without nourishment and growth, we can feel and be defeated. Our own personal growth is what keeps us alive regardless of one’s religious or spiritual beliefs. The end of a marriage always poses a personal challenge, one met with sadness, feelings of failure and fear of the new. Think of it as an opportunity for growth; a chance to discover who we are and what is out there for us. The future and change may be scary but think of the new experiences that lie ahead and redirect your focus.
Try a new sport or new hobby. Plant some new flowers and enjoy nature. Pursue an interest you never had time to. Join new groups and meet new friends. Take risks and try new things you wouldn’t have done while married. Think of an end as a new beginning. A new chapter. The Freedom to grow your potential and blossom into a healthy flower.